Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize