We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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