She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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