I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize