So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
