so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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