I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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