Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
