I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
