You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
