Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
