just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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