For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
