have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
