I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
