i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
