dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
