Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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