i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
