Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
