sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize