Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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