why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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