shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
