She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
