Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
