Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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