that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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