Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
