Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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