hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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