Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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