She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
