I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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