10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
