thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
