Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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