you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
