We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
