She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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