it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize