would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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