i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Enjoy the penises
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize