i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize