Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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