I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
