Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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