I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
