Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
