i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
