You can't motorboat a personality
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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