Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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