When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
