I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
