the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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