I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
