Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this beer tastes like vomit already
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize