Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
