U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was like giving head to a cactus.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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