when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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