im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
