he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
