You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
