I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
