That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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