i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
