We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
