please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
