my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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