I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
