I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
