Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
