come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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