i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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