Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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